My Prince in a Dirty Quidditch Uniform
by xsakura13
Summary: "I just got this new, highly flammable hair gel," explains Marlene, holding out a small, sleek, and black box. "I want to try it out on your hair." "How about…..no," I decline flatly, backing away towards the door. Hair related things and Marlene do not mix. I've already seen what the damage can be. A chase through school leads me to my prince in s- a dirty Quidditch uniform.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _Harry Potter_. This is based off of what J. K. Rowling wrote. She created and owns _Harry Potter_.

* * *

"OH HELL NO GIRL!"

"Must escape," I wheeze, my fingernails clawing unattractively at the polished, wooden table.

My friends Marlene and Alice-who have the widest, wickedest grins on their faces-drag me back like an escaping prisoner back to my cell-ah bathroom.

They wave a muggle, pink curling iron in my face. I flinch when I feel the heat radiating off of it. Marlene waggles a finger in mock disapproval and speaks slowly as if I am a child she is scolding, "Now Lily, you know we don't run around the room when Alice and I have a muggle curling…uh….wand in our hands."

Marlene looks at the curling iron in confusion, trying to puzzle out what the long stick is.

"A curling iron," I correct automatically.

Marlene shrugs, and the evil grin returns to her face.

"Alice!" she commands. "Tie her up!"

"Wait! What?!" I shriek in protest.

"Sorry, Lily," replies Alice apologetically.

I scramble away desperately, but Alice casts her spell, and ropes wraps around me tightly. I squirm in alarm as the pink curling iron comes near my face.

"Oh relax, Lily," snaps Marlene in irritation. "Do you have no faith in me?"

"Obviously not!" I shriek shrilly. "Remember the last time you used a straightener?"

Marlene grins sheepishly and flushes in embarrassment.

"Yeah," I retort while still trying to wiggle free. "Potter's hair was half singed, Black's hair looked like a girl's, and Lupin almost got his face burned off!"

"What happened to Peter?" asks Alice as Marlene begins to wrap my fiery, red hair around the curling iron.

I ponder the question thoughtfully. "I think Marlene accidently set the poor boy's pants on fire. He ran screaming to the lake."

"Stop being such a liar," grumbles Marlene, but her eyes shine with amusement. "I set his _hair_ on fire. You're such a-"

"Liar, liar pants on fire?" I guess.

"Bloody Merlin! You always know what I'm thinking," complains Marlene, releasing the perfect curl.

"It's talent." I grin cheekily.

"Wait, so what happened with the straightener?" asks Alice with interest.

"Okay, so once upon a time," I begin, "when Marlene somehow got a straightener…."

_"Potter, I will repeat this one more time," I growl, "go to-"_

_"Hell?" supplies James Potter with his eyes twinkling._

_"YES! I will go out with you the day I run through the school screaming, 'RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! SHE'S AFTER YOUR HAIR!'"_

_"Really?"_

_"Yes!"_

_"BLACK! LET ME BORROW YOUR HAIR!"_

_Sirius Black looks up, frowning at Marlene who is holding a black straightener._

_"What is that?" he demands in confusion, pointing rudely at the straightener._

_Marlene shrugs. "Some muggle thing."_

_"You want to borrow __my__ hair? In your dreams!" shouts Sirius, backing away._

_"Oh, you'll be dreaming that you were living," mutters Marlene quietly, leaping over to him._

_Sirius Black still remains sitting-although I cannot fathom why. Marlene quickly straddles his legs, and grabs a lock of hair._

_"Hey! Watch it! Do you know how much conditioner this takes?" complains Sirius._

_Marlene skillfully slides the straightener down his hair, over and over again. Potter and I watch in amazement._

_"You know Potter, popcorn would be great right now," I comment._

_James frowns and repeats in bewilderment, "Popcorn?"_

_"Uh, muggle treat," I clarify."_

_James watches skeptically. "At this rate, he'll look like a girl. When do you think the first guy will approach?"_

_"Huh?" I say._

_"When do you think the first guy will approach? From the back, he'll probably look like a girl."_

_I walk to the right, and look at Sirius at a different angle. "Ten minutes."_

_"I got five. Plus, the first will bring a flower."_

_"How do you know?" I raise an eyebrow in doubt._

_"Just a guess," he replies mysteriously, his hazel eyes twinkling brightly._

_Five minutes later, a guy does approach. The poor, unsuspecting victim has blond hair, blue eyes, and an arrogant smirk. He pauses when he sees Sirius's back. Then, transfiguring his book into a flower, he says, "Hey babe-"_

_Sirius turns in bewilderment, and when the victim sees him, he screams in agony, and runs._

_"That was a perfectly good waste of a book," huffs the ignorant Marlene, picking up the red flower, and tucking it behind Sirius's ear._

_I blink._

_James smirks._

_"Uhh, Padfoot? Mate, ya better take a good look at yourself," suggests James, handing Sirius a silver mirror._

_Sirius takes a long glance at the mirror and screams in a very girly way. I wince, plugging my ears._

_Sirius pauses, and screams again. A crack appears on the mirror, becoming bigger. Then, he screams once more. This time, James's glasses crack._

_"My ears! They're bleeding!" cries a first year._

_"WHAT ON EARTH IS GOING ON!"_

_Professor McGonagall enters the common room. She scans the room scrutinizingly, and stops when her eyes land on Sirius._

_"Mister Black!" she exclaims, flabbergasted. "What in Merlin's name happened to your hair?"_

_"My hair!" he screams, running to his room, probably heading for the shower._

_"MISTER BLACK! MISTER BLACK! DETENSION!" shouts the professor after him._

_Then, she looks at Marlene. "Miss Mckinnon, would you like to explain yourself?"_

_"Uhh," stammers Marlene sheepishly. "Muggle contraptions confuse me."_

_After Professor McGonagall leaves, James shouts in outrage, "I demand someone to fix my glasses! Now!"_

_"My ears! My ears!" moans the first year almost painfully._

_"Oh you poor chil-"begins Marlene, but she stops abruptly, and turns to James. "Say what?"_

_"My glasses!" demands James angrily, pointing at his eyes._

_I sigh. "Potter, do you ever pay attention in class?"_

_"Maybe. Would you like to go on a date with me to find out?" suggests James, waggling his eyebrows._

_"Reparo!" I snap harshly, whipping my wand out and pointing it at James's glasses._

_James's arm snakes around my waist, but I smack it away._

_"Who wants to be my next experiment?" calls Marlene chirpily._

_My eyes widen, and shove Potter at Marlene. "Potter does!"_

_"Hey!" he protests._

_I shrug. "Every girl for herself."_

_"Excellent," grins Marlene, waving her straightener around._

_At first, things go smoothly. The straightener slips through his hair easily._

_Then, I sniff. "Do I smell smoke? Does anyone else smell smoke?"_

_I look around, and a girl with a marshmallow stuck on her wand looks with me too._

_"My scalp feels warm," remarks James suspiciously._

_"MERLIN!" I yell. "MARLENE! YOU'VE SET HIS HEAD ON FIRE!"_

_Marlene's and James's eyes widen in fear and alarm. Marlene backs away slowly and nervously._

_"Ah James?" she begins nervously, pointing to his head._

_"I KNOW THAT WOMAN! GET RID OF THE FIRE!" screams James while waving his arms and swatting his hair wildly._

_The girl with the fluffy, white marshmallow stuck to her wand walks calmly towards James, and holds the wand above the fire so that she can roast the marshmallow. She nibbles on it shyly._

_"WOMAN! THIS IS NO TIME TO BE EATING MARSHMALLOWS!" screams James hysterically._

_The girl's eyes begin to water. She whimpers and runs away, sobbing in fear._

_I blink, staring at James in astonishment for a few seconds._

_I swiftly whip out my wand and yell "Aguamenti!" the same time Peter trips clumsily and splashes his blue slushie thing over James's head._

_James pats his hair frantically, scurrying away from Marlene._

_"Why Peter," says Marlene sweetly, "you have such nice hair today."_

_Peter gulps nervously just as Remus Lupin enters the common room oblivious to what has happened._

I giggle fondly, recalling the memory.

"I'm done!" exclaims Marlene proudly.

I run my hand tentatively through my new, bouncy curls. I look in the mirror. "Not bad Marlene. You could also get rid of the ropes now."

Alice frees me while still grinning at the story. "Wow. I wish I was there, but I was with Frank."

I begin to stand up, but Marlene yells, "WAIT!"

I look at her and say, "What now?"

"I just got this new, highly flammable hair gel," explains Marlene, holding out a small, sleek, and black box. "I want to try it out on your hair."

"How about…..no," I decline flatly, backing away towards the door.

I make a mad dash out. I sprint like crazy through the corridors, around students, and into the dining hall while loudly screaming, "RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! SHE'S AFTER YOUR HAIR!"

Unfortunately, I run smack into a broad chest wearing a dirty red, and gold Quidditch uniform. I almost fall, but a pair of strong arms steady me.

"Thanks," I say breathlessly, "POTTER!?"

"What's up," he asks.

"Marlene with HAIR SUPPLIES!" I hiss.

He nods, understanding.

"Liiilllly! I'm coming!" yells Marlene.

James swiftly swings me behind him. Thankfully, I'm shorter and smaller than him so his body hides me.

"Marlene," he greets her.

"Hey, James," replies Marlene. "Have you seen Lily?"

"Lily?" echoes James thoughtfully. "Nope! But, I'll have to find her later. Check the library."

Marlene facepalms. "Of course! That's where she would go! Thanks!"

"Tell me if you find her!" yells James after her.

"Wow. Nice acting Potter," I reluctantly compliment him.

"Why thank you Lily Flower," bows James dramatically.

We walk outside the dining hall in relief. However, Marlene runs back calling out for James.

"James! Do you know-" she begins, but stops suddenly when she spots us.

"Uh oh," James and I say in unison.

Marlene shoots us a devious grin. James hastily scoops me into his arms and runs. I cling onto him with my arms around his neck as Marlene chases us. Finally, James carries me into a broom cupboard.

We hold our breaths when footsteps approach the broom cupboard. When Marlene finally passes us, and her footsteps become faint, we sigh in relief.

My eyes become accustomed to the light, and I brush my fiery, red curls away from my face. James's hair is ruffled, but he still grins.

"So Lily," he begins confidently. "Remember how last time you said you would date me if you ran through the school screaming 'RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! SHE'S AFTER YOUR HAIR!'?"

I inhale, and groan. "But that-"

"A deal is a deal and a promise is a promise Lily," insists James before I find his lips on mine.

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Thanks for reading and please review!


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the series, Harry Potter. The books were written by J.K. Rowling who I am **not**. Considering that this is a _Fan_Fiction, it's pretty self-explanatory that I am a _fan_ creating a story based off what J.K. Rowling wrote. Basically, I do not own Harry Potter.

* * *

"James….."

"James!"

"JAMES!"

"JAMES, GET YOUR LAZY ASS UP!"

James rolls over and groans sleepily. "Marlene, even if you love me that much, you don't have to wake me up this early in the morning…."

Marlene growls and retorts, "For your information James, it's four in the afternoon, and I'm here for the money you owe me."

James blinks.

"The money you owe me for chasing Lily to you so you can go on a date with her?" says Marlene in disbelief.

"Uhhh?"

"Blood Merlin, James! Did you hit yourself on the head or something?"

"Actually," the lazy voice of Sirius Black says, with the owner of the voice himself sitting on the bunk above James's. "I hit him on the head. Quidditch is such joy when smacking bludgers."

Marlene stares at him.

Sirius offers her a sheepish grin. "He wasn't paying attention, and I felt the need to knock some sense into him."

"Literally, knock," mutters Marlene quietly.

"What was that, darling?" questions Sirius, grinning.

"Nothing," answers Marlene crisply. "James. Money. Now."

"Geez McKinnon, what do you need money for?" asks Sirius causally.

"Obviously for Christmas gift shopping," Marlene rolls her eyes. "I haven't been able to get hold of dearest Mother lately."

"I pay you money if you do me the smallest favor."

Sirius waggles his eyebrows suggestively.

"Ew, no Black," retorts Marlene.

Sirius shrugs and says, "I was going to say, you could give me a foot massage."

"In your dreams, Black. In your dreams."

"But you ar-"

"Arrgh. Why are you guys so loud?" mumbles Remus tiredly from underneath his thick blanket.

"Dear Remus, it's four in the afternoon," states Marlene, bored.

"Ugghh, chocolate….."

"….."

"Remus!" whines Marlene. "You have to take my side!"

"What side?" Remus mumbles as he flips his pillow over.

"James owes me money for getting him a date with Lily."

"Oh."

Sirius snickers. "Maybe he has a grudge against you for almost burning his face off. But then again, we should all have a grudge against you."

Marlene glares at him. "Which is exactly why James should give me the money so I can get Remus chocolate for his gift."

"Chocolate," mutters Remus from his bed.

"And I don't get anything?" complains Sirius.

"I'll get you something," says Marlene mischievously.

"Really?" gasps Sirius, surprised.

"If you give me the money," finishes Marlene.

Sirius's face falls, and he grumbles.

"Just kidding, Black. I'll get you something if James here, will ever give me the money."

Marlene stares pointedly at James.

"Sure, sure," says James sleepily, waving his hand.

Marlene stares at James crossly with her hands on her hips.

"James," she says warningly.

She stops abruptly and looks around. "Is Peter here?"

"Ah Wormtail," nods Sirius. "Moony!"

"What?" whines Remus, pulling his covers higher.

"Is Wormtail there?"

"Why don't you just look for yourself? You can see his bunk!"

"I can't tell if that huge mound is Wormtail, his stash of food, or pillows."

Remus groans and he looks down at Peter's mound.

Remus blinks. "I can't tell either."

Then, he flops back onto his mattress.

"YO! WORMTAIL! YOU THERE?" shouts James at the large mound.

Silence convinces James to say. "Moony, toss me that eighty pound, huge, boulder of dark chocolate you have on your bed."

Remus immediately shoots up and demands, "How did you know about that?"

James snorts, "Moony, you've been using that as your pillow for the past month. Plus, you keep chipping it away and eating it. It was originally one hundred pounds of chocolate."

Remus grumbles, picks up the pillow sized chocolate, and chucks it at James.

"Uhh," groans James after the boulder of chocolate smashes into his stomach.

James lifts the heavy "boulder" up and throws it as hard as he can at the huge mound. The mound first makes a crackling sound—like plastic crinkling or like that annoying kid who sneaks a bag of chips into the movies and opens it slowly and as "quietly" as possible thinking that other people won't notice if he or she opens it slowly enough, but unfortunately, other people hear and glare at the said he or she—then the chocolate rebounds and hits the floor, breaking into multiple large chunks.

A sweatdrop appears on James's nervous face as he chuckles slowly and awkwardly under Remus's accusing glare.

"James," starts Remus menacingly.

"Okay, okay, Remmy! Don't get so mad!" squeaks James.

"Remmy," Marlene repeats.

"Rem Rem," says Sirius with a sly grin.

"Well, at least we discovered that the mound is half snacks and half pillows," declares James sheepishly.

"Sumer," says Marlene with a broad grin.

"Summer?" echoes Sirius.

"Remus spelled backwards is Sumer. Add another "m" and it would be Summer," explains Marlene pleasantly. "Remus, your girl name is Summer."

"But, it's still Winter," comments Remus dryly.

"True," Marlene grins.

Marlene turns back to James and gives him a disapproving glare.

James throws his arms up in frustration. "Fine! Fine! Padfoot! Take Marlene and go shopping with her."

"What?! Why?" whines Sirius in outrage.

"Nice to know that it's such a _pleasant_ thing spending the day with me," mutters Marlene darkly.

"I'll pay you back the money she spends," pleads James, "and more. I just want some sleep here! Merlin!"

"Besides," continues James thoughtfully, "it might keep your ex-girlfriends and fangirls away."

James continues to mutter something that sounds suspiciously like, "girls...hexing….mistletoe…..Madame Puddifoot's…..Amortentia...trick….jinxing…"

James looks at Marlene and warns, "You better bring your wand for hexes, counter-jinxes, counter-curses, and so on."

Marlene rolls her eyes. "Because Black's ex-girlfriends and fangirls _love_ hexing innocent people."

"Precisely," confirms James seriously.

"That reminds me of a muggle song that Lily's been listening to," Marlene remarks, thinking back. "I love you so. That's what you'll say. You'll tell me, 'Baby baby please don't go away.' But when I play, I never stay. To every girl that I meet here this is what I say: Run, run, run away, run away baby before I put my spell on you. You better get, get, get away, get away darling 'cause everything you heard is true. Your poor little heart will end up alone 'cause lord knows I'm a rolling stone. So you better run, run, run away, run away baby."

"That actually summarizes Padfoot's situation very well," says Remus.

"I agree," says James. "I shall make that my favorite muggle song right now."

"All right. So Padfoot will be taking you out tomorrow and he'll pay for the stuff," says James cheerfully, quickly adding in something when Sirius glares at him. "Of course, I'll pay dearest Padfoot back the money you spend…."

Sirius still glares at James.

James adds, "In addition to the money I'll be paying him. Happy now, Pads?"

"Very," says Sirius.

"It's a date, then!" announces James loudly with a grin as Marlene watches him in amusement.

"Want to double date with Lily and me?" suggests James.

* * *

I do not own "Runaway Baby" by Bruno Mars. Has anyone noticed that all of the Marauders's names end with "s" except for Peter? Thanks for reading and please review! Have a Merry Christmas too!


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